Better days

So things are better, Sundays coming and after 4 weeks working Sundays going to be great.
Was looking forward to seeing Matthew West but concert was cancelled. Was so looking for a night of praise and worship.
If you read my last post, thanks for giving me a place to just vent it really helped.
Until next time, have a blessed day.

Day of depression

Hello again and yep another day. I know the scripture says,
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7
But I am having such a tough time following it. I know money doesn't buy happiness, I know that there are people out there with no job, no home, living out of missions, on the street, cars, tents. They are just trying to survive and that what makes my issue so bad and selfish.
I have been truly truly blessed. A good job, which I don't really care for hour wise. A great wife, who has put up with my crap. That I haven't provided for properly, financially, spiritually, emotionally. Two sons that I've tried to be there for, daughter-n-law who is great, four grandchildren though by marriage still my grandchildren, two great grands who are so special. Yes I have been blessed. So where is my joy, my peace, my happiness??????
It hard to see other doing things together and say why don't I (we) get invited then feel good knowing that wasn't because didn't have the money to go. So tired of saying no all the time, saying sorry cant, maybe next time. I haven't taken my wife anywhere on our anniversary in years, we struggle financially on one income, we are working towards a goal set down by financial peace university, but everything is breaking, our only car need about $1000.00 worth of work just minor basic stuff. Payed every two weeks and broke before the weekend ends. Have direct deposit, and auto pay, and a two debt income on a one income. So I can't tithe like I want or something won't get paid, we already now get call's 7 days, yes 7, days a week even on Sundays starting at 8 am- 8 pm. I'm so so so tired. Then when my son graduates college our parent loan will come do almost $300. 00 a month.
Lost my father going on two years ago and at his passing got nothing but more debt, the car we have now, yes a blessing but in need of upkeep, a trailer but no land so basically worthless, while my brother got his property payed off, money that paid off other big debts, leaving him with his house payment someone else helps with by renting property on the land he owned with my dad.
Someone call me a whambalancs, but I can't shake it no matter how much a I pray, I stay down, angry , frustrated. Sorry to be so down thanks for reading. If you are a praying person just say a prayer. I know God has a purpose I just need to figure it out or understand it.
Until next time, have a blessed day.

Struggles

Well it has been a while sense my last blog. Just have some things on my mind and I have been going through many struggles.
Well financially I am getting better but for every step forward I'm knocked back five. I don't seem to know where I am heading day after day.
I struggle with my spiritual walk daily put my faith ahead of myself. Putting what the Bible says I should do act,
Against how I feel things should be. The biggest struggle is just not being happy. Yes I have been truly blessed. A awesome family, belief in and awesome God, great church family, good job, but for some reason just stressed, frustrated, and cant seem to just enjoy the day. So anyway in the next blogs to come hopefully be more able to express myself.
Until then have a blessed day

Relaxing

Hello to all and good morning. Well it's relaxing time again up at the ranch in Hagan, Ga. Weather is not that good, rain and overcast days but we are away from the home phone and other issues. God is working in my life, slowly and I have a long way to go and I know for Him into intrust me with more I have to show that I can be able to handle more. Have a great day and God bless.
Till next time:

Thank you God,

Well here I am again and yes things are better but sad thing is this little storm will come back. Like the picture above at times my life in my mind travels down that lonesome railroad track. Do to the lack of discipline and proper stewardship in my life I have failed my God, self and family. Its a weekly struggle to pay the bills with one income with two income bills by the time my money goes in on a Friday its gone by Saturday then for two weeks its just hope the car doesn't rum out of gas, saying no to people when invited out, just saying no to a lot of things. Life is sad at lest in my minds world when you follow others on social networks to see all the places they go and the things they do. Then I get so mad at myself, I get mad when things don't go the way I want, or like or I feel like Im not getting what I want. Oh how selfish I am, how self centered, how much I get tired of working my Butt of to have nothing new, or just barely catching up with what kids have. Wow how small am I, how lame, how low I am.

Then God takes me by the scruff of the neck and puts me on my knees and says look here stupid. Don't ya have a house, don't ya have a wife, son's, grandchildren, job? Haven't I provided over the years and as you stop needing a whambulance you will see just how much I love you and that Its not about you, Its about ME. I say God I'm so tired, struggling all the time. Lord my dad went to be with you and all that happened was that my bills doubled, people I know are going on cruises, new cars, out to eat, and so many.....Stop HE says I'm all you need and if you trust in me, follow My teachings, My commands then I will provide for you all you need. Then as I get back into his word, as I get on my knees and pray, He takes away the anger and starts to feel my life peace and joy again.
Thank You God
Till next time;

What the crap!

Have you ever had one of those days when all of the sudden things go to crap. A thought inters your mind that you can't shake and then it just rolls down hill from there? Well I'm having one of those moments and what makes it worse is I'm at work.
Seems like the littlest thing is setting me off so having to keep me distance from others right now, spending time in prayer asking for strength as I guard my thoughts, actions, speech.
Thanks for reading have a great night, next blog will
Be a I just want to vent party.
Till next time!

New phone

It's been a while sense my last post and yea I have been lazy about it. Was to be used as a type of accountability tool and yes I have been lazy about my bible studies too.
So please pray for me as I turn back to getting into my bible and back to what God wants we to do. I have been in prayer to start a new Wed night class at church for our grads and college students. Looking at using "I Am Second" material. Going to be a small group or cell group type setting. So please be in prayer as put information together.
Till next time