So things are better, Sundays coming and after 4 weeks working Sundays going to be great.
Was looking forward to seeing Matthew West but concert was cancelled. Was so looking for a night of praise and worship.
If you read my last post, thanks for giving me a place to just vent it really helped.
Until next time, have a blessed day.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Day of depression
Hello again and yep another day. I know the scripture says,
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7
But I am having such a tough time following it. I know money doesn't buy happiness, I know that there are people out there with no job, no home, living out of missions, on the street, cars, tents. They are just trying to survive and that what makes my issue so bad and selfish.
I have been truly truly blessed. A good job, which I don't really care for hour wise. A great wife, who has put up with my crap. That I haven't provided for properly, financially, spiritually, emotionally. Two sons that I've tried to be there for, daughter-n-law who is great, four grandchildren though by marriage still my grandchildren, two great grands who are so special. Yes I have been blessed. So where is my joy, my peace, my happiness??????
It hard to see other doing things together and say why don't I (we) get invited then feel good knowing that wasn't because didn't have the money to go. So tired of saying no all the time, saying sorry cant, maybe next time. I haven't taken my wife anywhere on our anniversary in years, we struggle financially on one income, we are working towards a goal set down by financial peace university, but everything is breaking, our only car need about $1000.00 worth of work just minor basic stuff. Payed every two weeks and broke before the weekend ends. Have direct deposit, and auto pay, and a two debt income on a one income. So I can't tithe like I want or something won't get paid, we already now get call's 7 days, yes 7, days a week even on Sundays starting at 8 am- 8 pm. I'm so so so tired. Then when my son graduates college our parent loan will come do almost $300. 00 a month.
Lost my father going on two years ago and at his passing got nothing but more debt, the car we have now, yes a blessing but in need of upkeep, a trailer but no land so basically worthless, while my brother got his property payed off, money that paid off other big debts, leaving him with his house payment someone else helps with by renting property on the land he owned with my dad.
Someone call me a whambalancs, but I can't shake it no matter how much a I pray, I stay down, angry , frustrated. Sorry to be so down thanks for reading. If you are a praying person just say a prayer. I know God has a purpose I just need to figure it out or understand it.
Until next time, have a blessed day.
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7
But I am having such a tough time following it. I know money doesn't buy happiness, I know that there are people out there with no job, no home, living out of missions, on the street, cars, tents. They are just trying to survive and that what makes my issue so bad and selfish.
I have been truly truly blessed. A good job, which I don't really care for hour wise. A great wife, who has put up with my crap. That I haven't provided for properly, financially, spiritually, emotionally. Two sons that I've tried to be there for, daughter-n-law who is great, four grandchildren though by marriage still my grandchildren, two great grands who are so special. Yes I have been blessed. So where is my joy, my peace, my happiness??????
It hard to see other doing things together and say why don't I (we) get invited then feel good knowing that wasn't because didn't have the money to go. So tired of saying no all the time, saying sorry cant, maybe next time. I haven't taken my wife anywhere on our anniversary in years, we struggle financially on one income, we are working towards a goal set down by financial peace university, but everything is breaking, our only car need about $1000.00 worth of work just minor basic stuff. Payed every two weeks and broke before the weekend ends. Have direct deposit, and auto pay, and a two debt income on a one income. So I can't tithe like I want or something won't get paid, we already now get call's 7 days, yes 7, days a week even on Sundays starting at 8 am- 8 pm. I'm so so so tired. Then when my son graduates college our parent loan will come do almost $300. 00 a month.
Lost my father going on two years ago and at his passing got nothing but more debt, the car we have now, yes a blessing but in need of upkeep, a trailer but no land so basically worthless, while my brother got his property payed off, money that paid off other big debts, leaving him with his house payment someone else helps with by renting property on the land he owned with my dad.
Someone call me a whambalancs, but I can't shake it no matter how much a I pray, I stay down, angry , frustrated. Sorry to be so down thanks for reading. If you are a praying person just say a prayer. I know God has a purpose I just need to figure it out or understand it.
Until next time, have a blessed day.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Struggles
Well it has been a while sense my last blog. Just have some things on my mind and I have been going through many struggles.
Well financially I am getting better but for every step forward I'm knocked back five. I don't seem to know where I am heading day after day.
I struggle with my spiritual walk daily put my faith ahead of myself. Putting what the Bible says I should do act,
Against how I feel things should be. The biggest struggle is just not being happy. Yes I have been truly blessed. A awesome family, belief in and awesome God, great church family, good job, but for some reason just stressed, frustrated, and cant seem to just enjoy the day. So anyway in the next blogs to come hopefully be more able to express myself.
Until then have a blessed day
Well financially I am getting better but for every step forward I'm knocked back five. I don't seem to know where I am heading day after day.
I struggle with my spiritual walk daily put my faith ahead of myself. Putting what the Bible says I should do act,
Against how I feel things should be. The biggest struggle is just not being happy. Yes I have been truly blessed. A awesome family, belief in and awesome God, great church family, good job, but for some reason just stressed, frustrated, and cant seem to just enjoy the day. So anyway in the next blogs to come hopefully be more able to express myself.
Until then have a blessed day
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